Recently, one of the kids approached me with a pencil and paper as I was standing at the door of the classroom and said “please can you teach me how to write my name in English?” So I wrote his name and handed it back to him. Soon, he came back to me showing his attempt. I pointed out to him that he had missed a letter in his name. So he went back in and came back again with another attempt. This time he had missed another letter. He went back and forth a few more times before he finally got it right. When I told him that this time it is correct, he had a wide smile on his face and he said, “this is ok, but can you now teach me how to write my name, such that the letters are joined together?” (he was referring to cursive writing). When I enquired why he wanted to learn that, he said “I am trying to learn how to sign.” I just smiled at this and our interaction soon ended.
Later in the day, he approached me again and wanted to talk to me individually. So we walked a little away from the other kids, towards the open area. I was completely taken aback by his next sentence. He looked at me and asked “Please can you get tobacco for me? The packet comes for about 10 – 12 Rs. I have a strong craving!” Instantaneously, I asked him to repeat what he said to clarify if I heard him right, and he confidently asked for it again.
Multiple thoughts went across my mind within a couple of seconds. “How dare he directly ask me this?”, “Does this mean that someone from the staff, teachers and / or guards willingly brings them tobacco?”, “I need to ‘show him who I am’!”, “I need to teach him a lesson so that he doesn’t even think of asking me ever again”,
I sternly, but calmly, asked him “is this allowed here?”. He replied “yes, all the kids eat it.”. I asked him again, “is it allowed at the Home?”. Realizing that he might have made a mistake by asking me, he said “it is not allowed, but all the kids eat anyway.”. I again asked him, “but is it allowed?”. Afraid and embarrassed, he said “it is not allowed.”. Then I went on to ask him a series of questions interlaced with his short answers, “why do you think it is not allowed? Do you think there is a reason why tobacco is not allowed whereas biscuits or chips are? Do you think it is bad in any way”. He then started sharing how substances and addictions are bad and how he had done things that he regrets under influence. He realized that it was for his own benefit that the rule was in place and that I was being stern with him. He promised me that he would give it up immediately. A couple of hours later, before I was leaving the Home, he reassured me that he would give it up for good. The next day, he told me how every time he felt a strong craving, he would drink water or brush his teeth with toothpaste (as it is sweet). Since then, over the last few days, it seems like he hasn’t had any tobacco. And I am not sure if he will be able to completely give it up, but surely there was a deep internal realization for him.
And he went from Greed / Want to Fear to Realization to Awareness!
